22th Jan: Love

by - 11:05 PM

Title..kemain. kah kah kah

Kemain, kemain. Nak jugak cerita. Cakap pasal cinta, macam bukan aku. Rasenya jarang la aku openly discuss pasal cinta.  Sipi-sipi tu ade. Directly about love is rare things for me to talk about. Rasa geli. Hari ni nak cakap pasal cinta secara terbukanya. Not as open as in facebook, just as open as in blogspot. Ngee

Bagi aku, cinta dah jadi macam core subject dalam hidup. Cinta ni ade 2. Horizontal and vertical. Yang aku nak borak ni pasal cinta horizontal which is cinta sesama manusia. Roughly, dalam hidup aka ade 3 kategori cinta manusia. Family, Friends and soulmate.

Alhamdulillah, my life is blessed with a loving family. I dont have much struggle on this.  They are where my heart belongs to. Whatever I did, I need to think about them. Anything will be reflected to them. I try as much as I could to not to hurt them. When people outside the family rejected me, I still have my family with me.

While love among friends will always be in ups and downs. I would say that, I have lose faith to almost all the people in my enviroment. Aku berkawan dengan semua orang yang nak berkawan. Just the difference is that how much would I spend time with them, which story I can and can't share. I need to filter everything. Aku punye sisi naif ni dah banyak melukakan hati aku. Naif ke aku?? hahahah. tak tahu la nak kata naif ke apa, tapi aku ni terlalu mudah percaya dengan orang. Tapi Alhamdulillah, kawan2 aku pon mostly baik2 aje. Cuma aku ni je, bila menganjak dewasa, dah mula filter yang mana yang perlu rapat dan yang mana yang perlu sekadar berkawan je. Mungkin jugak aku ni memang jenis yang cepat lupa kalau benda tu menyakitkan. Dan kawan2 yang ade skang is cool enough to be kept as close friend.

Hmm..soulmate. On top off all, this would be the most hurting type of love that I have to deal with. This love, has affected my love to my family and friends. The level of pain is just that I want to stop writing here. Hahaa

But to summarise things, after dealing with stupidity of someone which i used to call soulmate, I realized how huge the love that my parent bear for me.

Soulmate(i.e husband), is the love that I have to put in the first place after Allah and Rasulullah. And you know, to be acknowledge at the highest place in my heart, who would it be? It must be for someone who can love me more than my parent did for me. Which means not exist. But Allah says,

وَمِنْ آيَاتِهِ أَنْ خَلَقَ لَكُمْ مِنْ أَنْفُسِكُمْ أَزْوَاجًا لِتَسْكُنُوا إِلَيْهَا وَجَعَلَ بَيْنَكُمْ مَوَدَّةً وَرَحْمَةً ۚ إِنَّ فِي ذَٰلِكَ لَآيَاتٍ لِقَوْمٍ يَتَفَكَّرُونَ
"And of His signs is that He has created spouses for yourselves from your own selves so you might take comfort in them and He has created love and mercy among both of you. In this there is evidence (of the truth) for the people who (carefully) think." (Surah 30, Verse 21).
As I want to be the people who carefully think (as said in Quran verse), I just think it was not the right time for me. Just not yet. Its a lesson that I have to learn to be a better me.

For now, I choose to learn to love myself first. To do things that make me proud of myself. I believe that the key of a blissful life is to love yourself. It might makes yourself more lovable  >_<

While the horizontal love looks very frustrating, the vertical love will never leave us. Its the love of the Creator, Allah.. As the love that we gain in the scope of horizontal love is also the gift from Allah. The One that loves the most.

p/s: not good at sharing thought. Sinopsis jela yg dapat aku tulis. Cerita panjang2, dapat kat aku semua jadi pendek. Hahha

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  1. gittew! aku suka point of view kau on how u choose and keep your friends. aku rasa kita ada sisi yg sama...