Dear Haxeera,

09 February 2018

I haven’t found my skincare regime

I’m in a complete nightmare at the moment. It feels like hiding inside my blanket all day long. So that I don’t have to expose my nightmare skin to anyone. Allah, how insecure I am right now. Post ni akan panjang giler. Nak pendek baca yg last skali je. Haha

Recap in my whole life journey to find the right skincare, I only started using skincare after I graduate from UKM. I have a serious skin condition to the extent that, kau jalan2 kat kedai2 then tetiba orang yang tak jual skincare pon boleh promot kau suh beli skin product due to my worst skin condition. Masuk farmasi, tak tanya lagi nak apa, terus offer ubat parut. Harem! Tapi aku biasa la, selalu rasa aku okay je. Hahahaa. Tak tak, I noticed how badass my skin is. But I could not find the right solution to overcome those pimples, pigmentation and the ultimate dry and super sensitive skin. Dah tak jumpa skincare yang sesuai untuk baiki muka, takkan la nak duk bawah selimut je. Lantakkanlah deme nak cakap apa. Haha. Life goes on. Gitu. How ignorance I am.

As far as I can remember, I used to use cetaphil cleanser. Cetaphil working well on controlling my skin from becoming worst. It really help cleanses my face in a sense that it will not promote the growth of new pimples (sebab kulit bersih la kot). However, I must be extra patient using this because there were no significant visible effects seen after 2 weeks. Aku pon tak perasan apa kebaikannya melainkan dia membersihkan muka aku. It just that, long after that one of my friends asked me, ‘what did you do to your face? It looks better. The scars is almost gone’. Bytheway, scars was only lighten not gone. But then, as far as I can remember, I only use cetaphil. I mean consistently. There were few other product that I use occasionally like Neem’s Face Mask by Himalaya. This one was good too. But I am using this overnight that it’s drying my skin. Still, this one is good but don’t use overnight. Muka jadi macam kertas pasir. Especially my skin type ler. And I use safi moisturizer too. It did help turning my dull skin to a better conditions.



My skin was okay but I am not satisfied. Cetaphil actually does not really help to cure pimple. It did cleans and rest my skin but not really recovering when new pimple pop out. Pimples can easily pop out due to the weather, my emotion weather as well, hormones of course and other that was not under my control lah. Scars was here and there oso. Back then in 2013, I tried online local product. This is my first time ever I bought local product. SF beauty product. At that time, there were not much awareness about dangerous ingredient product and produk timbang kilo. Muka aku helok giler kot masa ni. Putih, lembap dan takde jerawat. Hot stuff la wei. Haha. Then after that come the rumors about this SF beauty. Ada merkuri pulekk. So I stop. Then muka aku mula meneruk. Dull, super dry skin, pimples easily come out. Dulu jerawat tak pernah tumbuh kat pipi, now dengan sewenang-wenang mak limahnya dia tumbuh. Aku cuak la. Aku beli sabun collagen. Online jugak. Yg tu lagi tak leh pakai. Tak membantu lansung. Pastu aku try Dnars skincare. Harem jugak la. Muka aku dah macam opera cina. Merah dua2 pipi aku. Stop. Yg tu pakai sket je. Dah la mahai. Lepas tu, kawan aku suh try Vitamin E&C. Aku tak berani mana la tapi dia cakap kena beli yang original. Banyak produk tiruan. So aku beli la kat tempat aku pecaya. Pakai ni okay giler. Rasa macam cun giler la masa tu. Hahaha. But then, keluar berita lagi, vitamin C&E ni antara nama2 awal la produk yang kena blacklist. Tak kira ori ke tak, memang blacklist! Ting! Aku stop la. Jangan nak cantik badan pulak sakit2. Stop tu, aku tak ingat dah aku try ape. Berenti pakai ni opkos muka buat hal laagi. Fobia kot nak try local product lagi. Penah jugak try Nour Ain. Kurang kontrovesi tp masih ada ura2 ada bahan terlarang. So aku tak repeat la lepas habis satu set tu.

Pastu, aku dah hati2 sket. Itu zaman semua nak jadi founder. Produk timbang kilo. Skang dah banyak kesedaran, jadi dah takde sangat kot. Atau aku memang memandang sepi produk2 macam tu. Pastu, ramai yang buat produk dari bahan organic. Minyak zaitun, lavender. Aku ada try jugak. Nurayssa. Okay la, tapi aku lupa kenapa aku tak teruskan. Ke sebab xde duit.kahkahkah *nangis*. Tapi lepas tu ade kluar produk baru lagi. Mary Jardin. Nampak meyakinkan. Founder dia medical Doc. Product dia based on organic and mostly lavender. Aku beli weh. Tak murah weh. RM165 per set. Itu pun promo. Tapi sama jugak, muka aku tak nak bekerjasama. Pastu, aku macam baru perasan. Kulit aku ni macam tak berapa ngam dengan oil based product. Clay mask dia tak best lansung. Macam lekat hitam2 dalam pores aku. Alahh benci. Sabun dia okay  tapi utk harga jual RM45 aku rasa too much. Minyak dia yang konon works wonder tu works hell on me. Haha. Ni bukan la nak bagi bad review, but it just did not work on me. Macam tu. Skang, roommate UKM aku dulu dah buat produk sendiri jugak. Dia chemist yang keje kat company cosmetic. Organic produk. Murah je. Sabun dia je baru RM 13. Serum pon tak lebih RM 50 tak silap. House of Nature. Boleh cari kat FB or IG kot. Cumanya aku tak berani nak try dah. Sebab almost sama macam Mary Jardin. Takot kulit aku tak ngam.

Hmm..lagi, aku penah try Mary Kay jugak. Dulu 2015. Sebelom agen Mary Kay promot baik aku bagitau dlu.hehe. My skin condition before almost like my current skin condition. Aku habis about RM500. Aku amek botanical effect set n malacep serum. Hmm membakar duit nama dia. Tak membantu pon. Tak suka. Tak de la terlalu teruk tapi itula tak membantu sangat. Kulit aku masih dull macam tu jugak.Aku pakai dalam 5-6 bulan jugak. Harga macam nokharom mahaii. Again, ini Cuma kesan dia terhadap kulit aku, kulit orang lain aku tak tau.

Pastu sepanjang aku stop skincare, aku pakai je cetaphil balik. Tak tahu nak pakai ape. Masa okay tu okaylah. Masa kulit problem mulalah gelabah ayam cari produk. Tapi dah elok sket aku pakai je cetaphil balik. Sebab setakat ni cetaphil tak buat hal ngan kulit aku. Tak nak pakai pencuci muka lansung kang jadi benda lain pulak. Pastu, aku baru cuba2 pakai sunscreen. Bila dah start pakai sunscreen tu memang ramai tegur kulit aku nampak sihat. So aku teruskanlah hari2 pakai sunscreen je ngan bedak ngan lipstick. Malas nak fikir cari produk baru. Happy enough, walaupon masih berparut. Tapi, good enough. Aku tengah berkira-kira nak beli ubat parut la ceritanya

Kusangkakan panas hingga ke petang, tapi tak masuk zohor lagi wei, dah hujan mencurah-curah. Cerita sekarang, aku tak tau muka aku dah kenapa. Elergik ape. Tak tahu. Sampai ke mata pon lebam. Hari tu dah amek ubat, dia okay sket. Balik KL, menjadi bali. Aku sambung ubat yang sama tapi sudah tidak mahu bekerjasama lagi. Aku Ubuntu. Makan dah kawal. Air dah minum. Pakai sunscreen pon tak guna. Apa lagi mahu kamu sih?!
Semalam aku korbankan kaki pusing2 mid valley cari bahan untuk mengubat luka di hati dek kerana muka yang tak semenggah ni. Aku g Innisfree, Loccitane, Kiehls, Clinique, Melvita. Ni je yg mampu. Amek sampel sket. Try sana sini. Hari ni  aku pakai tester Kiehls dulu. Rasa macam okay. Tapi baru sehari. Nak kata apa? Sabar jela dlu. Sample ni boleh la bertahan 3-4 hari. Kalau ade sedikit penambahbaikan, maybe I will go for kiehls. Tapi Melvita argan oil pon macam okay jugak. Eh berbelah bahagi pulak.huhu. Nantilah aku fikirkan. Next week baru decide.


Cerita aku ni tak de jawapan yang pasti lagi untuk skincare regime. Doakan la aku supaya sihat sentiasa dan gembira. Dan berjumpa skincare yang sesuai. Klo nak suggest pape pon bolehla komen.kui3, sape tah baca blog aku selain nurul.hahaha

Sekian bebelan dari sis yang masih dalam kemurungan. Belom berjumpa kegembiraan 2018.



*kekonon nak cakap omputih, tapi awal2 je. English macam harem jugak ni. Sis tak cukup vocab. Ampunkan sis. Nak prektis la kunun gituu.

04 January 2018

Post awal tahun
Assalamualaikum. Hai. Bertemu lagi kita ya. Biasala, memang selalunya blogpost akan naik awal tahun je. Semangat tahik ayam macam tu. Pui

intro. hahaa

Happy new year la uolls. Alhamdulillah, setakat 3 hari di 2018 ni hidup aku indah je. Sikit pon takde kemurungan. mihmihmih. Btw aku skang berehat kat kampung. Tak sangka la, beza betul duk KL ngan kampung. Environment sah sah beza. Selain environment, aku rasa mental health aku adalah sangat baik bila kat kampung. Kali ni.. Sebelum ni rasa biasa je. Ntah. Mebi sebab aku stress sangat kot kat KL. Pale hotak yang stress dah membawak kepada tubuh badan yang tak sihat. Hmm, papepon Alhamdulillah untuk nikmat ketenangan ni selepas kekusutan di KL. Semoga bila balik KL aku dapat betulkan segala kekusutan dan menghadapi dengan tenang dan sangka baik. Amin..amin.

So far aktiviti kat kampung banyak mengangkang je. Makan tido. patotla tenang sangat. Haha. Aku balik kampung memang dalam umah jela. Hari-hari fikir menu apa nak makan. Hari ni sup tulang, esok nasi dagang, lusa nasi kerabu. Basically my routine so far in 2018. Opkos aku kena manfaatkan masa skang. Sebab dalam doa aku, on Feb 2018, aku dah berkerjaya tapi apply  keje satu dua je.. Amin. 

My summary of 2017 was so stagnant, negative, lonely and lame. I'm feeling empty liddat. Pastu taahun ni la paling banyak sakit2 starting from March 2017 sampai skang. Cuma skang okay sikit pasal tengah berehat kat kampung. Berapa kali ulang alik hospital klinik. Sampai doktor kat klinik cam dah muka aku. Aku pon tak tahu, macam mana cara nak buat diri aku happy (in my current condition). Old, dumb and broke. Kawan nak chill2 pon takdak. Sedih! hahaa. 2017 was so black and white. Tahun kemurungan aku. So aku takdak apa nak update kat blog selalu. Padahal time ada benda nk update duk tangguh-tangguh sampai lupa nak update apa.haha

Sempena 2018 ni, aku cuma nak mengubah hidup aku menjadi lebih positif. Positif  dan hidup lebih berwarna warni gitu. Selama ni aku selalu rasa aku positif, tapi sebenarnya tak. Mulut aku je cakap takpe, hati aku menyumpah (on certain circumstance). So aku nak ubah ni. Positif dengan diri sendiri. Positif dengan dunia sekeliling. Dalam kata lain, aku punya ulimate goal ialah untuk jadi lebih bahagia.

So good luck untuk hidup aku yang lebih bahagia di 2018. Boleh mula berbahagia sekarang la. Skang kan 2018 dah. 

Puas dah bebel. Bye!



24 February 2017

Song of the week
Assalamualaikum

I always love music. I love to sing but its just humming or in the car karaoke. Not the real karaoke. I am the one who rarely looks at the lyrics when listening to a song. Then after replaying the same song all day, only after that, I realize what is this song about. Yeah, I am listening to a song on make love (on the bed), like a porn song to be exact..whatttt? hahhaa. Well, this happens quite a few times. Benci! TBH its hard to get rid of the good music arrangement instead of the bad lyrics. hmm..geleng kepala. Astaghfirullahalazim.

Tears by Clean Bandit

After replaying a few time, I found that this song got very good lyrics or easy to say so much related to what I wanted to dedicate to the one who used gets me sick the past one year. Things that I have gone through not long ago which leave a big scar to my pure heart. Pure gittew. Mata ke atas...



I tried hard to make you want me
But we're not supposed to be
And the truth will always haunt me
Even though it set me free
And my tears flow like the ocean
As they floated in the breeze
They were falling in slow motion
And they brought me to my knees

You're haunting me, taunting me all in my brain
Turn off the light and now all that remains
Fills me with doubt
And I'm shouting your name out loud
Why do you wanna put me through the pain?
I get the feeling I'll never escape
I can't hide away from the shame of you

Tears on the ground, tears on my pillow
You won't bring me down
And I'll get over you
These tears will get me through
And I'll get over you

I'll, I'll, I'll get over you
I'll, I'll
I'll, I'll, I'll get over you
I'll, I'll, I'll get over you

When did you lose your emotion?
When did you become so cruel?
And if you want to cut me open
Says a thousand words 'bout you
And in time I know you'll leave me
Like a distant memory
I know love can be so easy
If I start by loving me, oh

You're haunting me, taunting me all in my brain
Turn off the light and now all that remains
Fills me with doubt
And I'm shouting your name out loud
Why do you wanna put me through the pain?
I get the feeling I'll never escape
I can't hide away from the shame of you

Tears on the ground, tears on my pillow
You won't bring me down

I'll get over you
I'll get over you
I'll get over you
I'll get over you

I'll get over you
I'll, I'll, I'll get over you
I'll, I'll
I'll get over you
I don't need you to call me tonight
(I'll get over you)
I don't need you to see me if I'm alright
(I'll get over you)
You left me, so leave me, I'm fine
I'll be here getting on with my life

Tears on the ground, tears on my pillow
You won't bring me down

I'll get over you

*lyric seems too long to put here.lol


12 February 2017

12th Feb: Once upon a time in Penang
Assalamualaikum...

Flashback sepanjang hidup aku, this is my 3rd visit to Penang. First time sampai Penang, tahun 2003. Mmmm lebih kurang 14 tahun lepas. Hahahahaha.

2nd time tu memang uplanned visit. Kita merancang, Allah yang menentukan. Hihi. Rancangan perjalanan ke Kedah yg agak failed, result in unplaned visit to Penang for 2nd time. Tapi singgah jela. Singgah makan. Dah elok2 beli flight ticket return KL-Kedah, tetiba ikot Najua ngan Faiz  ke Penang, sebab nak balik hari tu jugak naik bas. So deme hantar aku, Fatin ngan Ain ke bustop Penang. Alang2 masuk Penang, makan sat la.

Zaman muda..tahun 2014.
Jangan nak suh aku letak gambar 2003 dlu.Hahaha. Mohon jangan. Tingkatan 2, tapi comot macam darjah 2 ;D

My 3rd visit to Penang, sebab nak attend kenduri kawan ain (kak dayah). Aku teman, sebab aku memang nak bejalan la. lol. Kak Dayah tu aku pernah jumpe 2 kali kot. But very friendly person. Rumah kak dayah area Kepala Batas. Since masa tu CNY, jem sket. 7 jam baru sampai.

Aku stay kat hotel area Bandar Baru Bertam. Aku rasa BBB ni macam bandar baru nak up (BBNU). Lol! Most facilities and goverment office area sini. Hotel aku stay tu Hotel Jannah. Rate RM109 per night stay. Untuk 2 org. Boleh la, tak nak komen lebih. ok.

Malamnya, konon nak pi umah kak dayah. Tapi konon jela, tido sampai nak abes magrib. Lepas solat, instead of pegi umah kak dayah kami pusing2 ares BBB tu. kawasan situ banyak kedai hipster. Tapi tak payah nak hipster sangat. Kteorang masuk restoran Thai. Mae Thai nama dia. Memula nak minum-minum je. Tapi sebab tekak aku rasa perlu masuk makanan berkuah dan panas2. Aku order sup ayam. Padahal dah makan kul 6 tadi kat umah kak dayah. hihi. Memang nyesal kalau tak order sup tu. Sedap giler. Hahah. Aku exaggerate je yang giler tu. It just according to tekak aku la. Aku memang fan makanan thai. So sup tu sedap giler. Sambal belacan pon umphh. Sup tu RM5 je. Thumbs up.


Pagi 29hb tu majlis akad nikah. Buat dekat masjid, dekat je ngan hotel. Pastu kami gi bekpes kat oldtown. Banyak kedai tak bukak pagi-pagi. 

Ain ngan masjidnya.. hehe. Masjid yang buat akad nikah. Nama masjid  tak ingat, tak tahu nak google ape. Tapi area BBB tula ;p
                                       

Tengahhari, gi makan lagi kat umah kak dayah. Jumpa ana (kawan ain) kat situ. Duk tunggu2 kak dayah tak muncul2, kami chiaw dulu gerak masuk pulau. Naik jambatan. Ana kata tol untuk masuk je. Keluar pulau tak yah tol dah. Kalau naik feri pon charge same. Charge masuk RM7. Dalam pulau takde tol dah.Tapi kau jangan buat salah drive ternaik jambatan keluar pulau plak. Baru masuk dah nak keluar. hahhaa. Tak pasal2 kena bayar tol 2 kali. Sebab apa yang aku nampak, kalau tersalah masuk tu tak tau nak patah balik kot mana dah.

Memula skali, terus pegi Penang Street art. Memang situ je kebanyakan tourist attraction. 
Kat Georgetown.

Ramai sangat beratuq nak amek gambar..




Pastu, Ain ngan Ana nak tukar baju. Dari tadi pakai baju kenduri, tak sempat tukar. Sambil nk solat boleh tukar baju. Deme jela, aku selesa je pakai skirt. Kami solat kat Masjid Kapitan Keling. Pas solat g Esplanade jap. Makan. Kat sini baru rasa nak tukar seluar. hahaa. Payah nak lintas jalan. Aku main tukar dalam kete je.lol.

Then sempat lagi nak pi Bukit Bendera. Ikot aku, memang aku tak nak pi. Same je rasenya dengan mana-mana bukit. Hhahah. Lagipon aku penanh naik 14 tahun dulu. Hahahaaa. Sebab Ain ngan Ana tak naik lagi, so apa salahnya. hehee

Salah memang tak salah. Yang salahnya timing. Naik malam-malam ape je yang nampak. Amek gambo pon kelabu asap.hahaa. Naik kul 8.30, pusing tak sampai setengah jam, kami dah queue nak balik. Masa tu beratur bapakkkk panjang giler. Kuss semangat aku. Terus terdiam beratur sebab klo aku membebel-bebel, hilang tenaga. Nak beratur lama ni weii. Hahaa

Selipar jepun :P


Kelabu hasap!
Turun Bukit Bendera, terus gerak balik Sungai Petani (rumah Ana). Beratuq sejam setengah weii. hahaa. Ain la kesian, pasal aku malam2 mata memang kelabu asap. Camno nak drive.

Trip Penang, abeh situ je. Abeh pitis. Aku jalan2 ni pon tak plan sangat. Hentam! Tol return around RM90. Minyak RM120. Hotel RM109. Makan RM100 kot 2 hari.

sebelum balik KL, singgah jeruk Pak Ali jap. Overall okay saja. Aku sebenarnya nak amek suasana je. Dulu masa jalan ngan Najua, Faiz, tak puas masuk Penang. So jalan kali ni nak memuaskan hati yang tak puas 2 tahun lepas. Aku suka Penang, makanan dia, tempat2 dia, bangunan dia. Yang aku tak suka, sesaknyaaa..

22 January 2017

22th Jan: Love
Title..kemain. kah kah kah

Kemain, kemain. Nak jugak cerita. Cakap pasal cinta, macam bukan aku. Rasenya jarang la aku openly discuss pasal cinta.  Sipi-sipi tu ade. Directly about love is rare things for me to talk about. Rasa geli. Hari ni nak cakap pasal cinta secara terbukanya. Not as open as in facebook, just as open as in blogspot. Ngee

Bagi aku, cinta dah jadi macam core subject dalam hidup. Cinta ni ade 2. Horizontal and vertical. Yang aku nak borak ni pasal cinta horizontal which is cinta sesama manusia. Roughly, dalam hidup aka ade 3 kategori cinta manusia. Family, Friends and soulmate.

Alhamdulillah, my life is blessed with a loving family. I dont have much struggle on this.  They are where my heart belongs to. Whatever I did, I need to think about them. Anything will be reflected to them. I try as much as I could to not to hurt them. When people outside the family rejected me, I still have my family with me.

While love among friends will always be in ups and downs. I would say that, I have lose faith to almost all the people in my enviroment. Aku berkawan dengan semua orang yang nak berkawan. Just the difference is that how much would I spend time with them, which story I can and can't share. I need to filter everything. Aku punye sisi naif ni dah banyak melukakan hati aku. Naif ke aku?? hahahah. tak tahu la nak kata naif ke apa, tapi aku ni terlalu mudah percaya dengan orang. Tapi Alhamdulillah, kawan2 aku pon mostly baik2 aje. Cuma aku ni je, bila menganjak dewasa, dah mula filter yang mana yang perlu rapat dan yang mana yang perlu sekadar berkawan je. Mungkin jugak aku ni memang jenis yang cepat lupa kalau benda tu menyakitkan. Dan kawan2 yang ade skang is cool enough to be kept as close friend.

Hmm..soulmate. On top off all, this would be the most hurting type of love that I have to deal with. This love, has affected my love to my family and friends. The level of pain is just that I want to stop writing here. Hahaa

But to summarise things, after dealing with stupidity of someone which i used to call soulmate, I realized how huge the love that my parent bear for me.

Soulmate(i.e husband), is the love that I have to put in the first place after Allah and Rasulullah. And you know, to be acknowledge at the highest place in my heart, who would it be? It must be for someone who can love me more than my parent did for me. Which means not exist. But Allah says,

وَمِنْ آيَاتِهِ أَنْ خَلَقَ لَكُمْ مِنْ أَنْفُسِكُمْ أَزْوَاجًا لِتَسْكُنُوا إِلَيْهَا وَجَعَلَ بَيْنَكُمْ مَوَدَّةً وَرَحْمَةً ۚ إِنَّ فِي ذَٰلِكَ لَآيَاتٍ لِقَوْمٍ يَتَفَكَّرُونَ
"And of His signs is that He has created spouses for yourselves from your own selves so you might take comfort in them and He has created love and mercy among both of you. In this there is evidence (of the truth) for the people who (carefully) think." (Surah 30, Verse 21).
As I want to be the people who carefully think (as said in Quran verse), I just think it was not the right time for me. Just not yet. Its a lesson that I have to learn to be a better me.

For now, I choose to learn to love myself first. To do things that make me proud of myself. I believe that the key of a blissful life is to love yourself. It might makes yourself more lovable  >_<

While the horizontal love looks very frustrating, the vertical love will never leave us. Its the love of the Creator, Allah.. As the love that we gain in the scope of horizontal love is also the gift from Allah. The One that loves the most.



p/s: not good at sharing thought. Sinopsis jela yg dapat aku tulis. Cerita panjang2, dapat kat aku semua jadi pendek. Hahha

18 January 2017

18th Jan: Update blog..blerghh
aku, tiap-tiap tahun azam nak aktif update blog.

Tapi gitu jela. Aku duduk menung. Apa ke benda menarik aku nak cerita, nak share. Tak menarik dan tak padan dan tak patot pon nak share. Hidup aku, hanyalah sekitar UM, master aku, labmate, housemate dan makanan. Balik kampung, dengan family. Takdenya nak update cerita, laptop pon tak sentuh. Bila sentuh laptop balik, dah lupa nak cerita ape.

Nak cerita pasal hidup aku, mostly drama. Aku rasa aku ni orangnya bukan jenis berdrama sangat, tapi daily life aku drama sangat. Kisah penyelia, kisah duit, kisah rakan sekerja, drama housemate tak abes-abes, drama,drama,drama. Belom masuk kisah ex. Super duper drama. Non-hado la nak cerita. Aku menulis pakai emosi, tulis sini pasal drama-drama hidup ni, sis jadi ta kuad. Terbawak emosi masa menulis ke alam nyata plak. Parah jadinya.LOL!

Satu-satunya cara untuk aku terus hidup ni, positif je. POSITIFFF (sambil mengetatkan hati).

Siap update. Macam ni pon kira update ke?

Mungkin kena modified sikit azam tu, update blog dengan kerap cerita gembira je ataupon bercerita dengan gembira walaupon ceritanya tak berapa gembira. Pon bolehh..

05 January 2017

4th Jan: Blessings
Assalamualaikum.

Alhamdulillah, had a rough day today. But yeay, i'm surviving. Bukan apa pon,cuma rasa tak sihat sangat. Sakit kepala sampai menggigil2 badan. Pastu muka panas macam beruwap je. Td petang rasa macam nak demam but now feeling okay. Alhamdulillah. Ya udah update status hari ni. Hahah

I was thinking about blessings. Barokah.

Feeling like having a tough day to keep surviving in KL with no earning. Yes, my salary has been cut since February 2016. Officially, 10 month meng-anggur. Boleh dikatakan agak kopak la poket aku. I just have my Instagram to kinda support my makan-makan and a little bit on transportation. Sewa rumah korek tabung Maybank aku. My last savior.

Dulu masa aku ber'gaji'. Aku boleh dikatakan mewah la. Aku tak struggle bab duit. Yela, ape je komitmen aku. Kete takde. Rumah sendiri takde. Mostly spend kat makan2, jalan-jalan dan shopping2 online/offline. Dan kadang2 aku masukkan dalam akaun mak aku sket. So ni la masuk part barokah sepertimana tertera dalam tajuk.

Aku ni bukanla anak yang baik sangat. Ada bulan aku bagi kat mak, ade bulan aku enjoy sakan. Takde komitmen. Tapi bulan yang aku masukkan duit kat mak aku tu sampai hujung bulan pon aku tak rase sengkek pon. Macam rilex je. Walaupon secara kalkulatornya, bila dah bagi kat mak aku, memang duit aku kurang la dr masa aku tak bagi. Tapi barokah tu membuatkan aku rasa macam "eh, kenapa banyak lagi duit dalam purse aku ni?"

Barokah tu membuatkan aku rasa cukup.

Lagi satu, aku berpendapat, bila kita bekerja seikhlas hati, tak ngelat, jaga masa kerja, kita akan rasa keberkatan gaji tu. Pernah tengok orang gaji RM10k, tapi masih rasa tak cukup? This might be related to barokah. Might be, but please dont judge them. Contoh je babe!

Now, sumber pendapatan aku ialah melalui IG aku. Nilai yang aku dapat memang tak banyak. Tapi apa yang aku dapat tu ialah apa yang aku usahakan (insyaallah biiznillah). Walaupon nilai yang aku dapat tak seberapa tapi aku rasa cukup. Cumenya, memang tak mampu la nak bagi kat mak lagi. Cukup makan je.hahaa. Klo bagi ntah2 mintak ngan abah plak duit nak makan. Lol!

So gitula, harapnya hidup aku ni terus menerus dilimpahi barokah biarpon segala badai onak dan duri melanda. Jaga hubungan dengan Allah, jaga hubungan dengan manusia. Insyaallah barokah tu melimpah ruah dalam hidup kita. 

Now, I can still smile, that makes me feels great. And I feel that, to be able to still smiling is a blessing from Allah. I am blessed with such a great family and friends. Thank you Allah for these blessings. May Allah bless all of us! ❤️

Eh, not to forget, visit my IG haxeera.co 😄



p/s: kalau rasa hidup selalu ada masalah, mungkin kita ada masalah antara hubungan dengan Allah dan ibu bapa.

02 January 2017

2nd Jan: Achievement?
2nd day of 2017. Pheww. Eh assalamualaikum.

Tipu la kalau cakap tak cuak. I'm going to be 29 this year yet there is not much achievement unlock. Except for 'that one'. Unlocked and then suddenly get locked again without leaving key for unlock. Ahh this is hard 😰.
Takpe, lets move on to unlock for another achievment. I would say, one of the most must things to achieve this year is to graduate my master study. Masya-Allah, this is wayyyy too tough for me. May Allah bless and open the door for me to end this super heart broken, bloody journey. Ya Allah, I do hope i gain, i learn something beneficial in my master journey. I wish that the knowledge that I learn during my study would benefit me and the society later. Aminn.

Takat tu jela aku boleh reveal, perancangan banyak-banyak tak leh cerita kt sini. Once achieved, i'll share the story. Eh riak plak. Adoi susahla. Ok la even if not accomplish, i might write it here. Untuk pedoman masa depan. Ahh gittu.

In general, semua orang nak jadi manusia yang lebih baik, lebih beriman, lebih dekat dengan Allah. Same goes to me. May Allah ease our journey with His barokah. Have a bless 2017 ahead 💪🏻

Gambar tak berapa cantik ni takde ape, simboliknya cuma gambar yang di ambil pd 2nd January. kualiti gambar tak cantik sbb photographernya tak pandai, but the real scenary is subhanallah 😍 Picture taken on 2nd January, somewhere in Merapoh i guess. On my way back to KL from kelantan.

23 October 2016

How did U guys controlled your sleepiness while doing a literature review?
Assalamualaikum.

Wow, the title seems very academic and informative. Kah kah!

I am now in a phase of thesis writing. Ya I know I took a veeery long time to finish. Sigh -_-

Doing a literature review was not easy I tell U. The LR itself is hard, my state while doing LR far harder. Haha. I get sleepy very quick while reading the LR material.

In order to understand everything I will try to read the whole sentence. There will come the sleepiness problem. Then I will do something else to overcome the feeling to sleep eventho I only read half of the journal. lol! Usually I will go search movies online. Playing games on the phone. Or even scroll the FB and insta feed. But like seriously, these activities does not help at all! It was just distracting my work to be done. 

But I did google few things to do to overcome sleepiness.

  1. Strut your stuff. Studies show that taking a 20-minute walk can boost your energy levels and decrease fatigue. 
  2. Involve your ears. 
  3. Give your eyes a break.
  4. Stretch it out. 
  5. Fuel up with healthy snacks. 
  6. When all else fails, use cold water.
These all 6 point will work for those who already work for longer time. But for me who work for a short time and always sleepy while doing work, I need another method so that I can finish my work fast. It was not possible for me to take a nap in every 30 minutes. I might doing things wrong. :P. I'm 28 y.o already, but still at school. Oh no! Need to get out from here instantly!

I think that I've just figured out something which is wayy easier for me to overcome my sleepiness syndrome while looking for the information to write up in my thesis. The key word is: "I need to keep my brain in an active phase."

In the other word, I'm sharing tips on how to read literature effectively without fall into sleep, which I hope will work for me.

Know what info that you actually searching for. 
Do not read the whole things written on the journal. Of course, you will easily get bored and thus sleepy plus lazy -_-

Do not read for more than 15 minutes 
What I mean here, you need to do some sketch. Jot down the notes using your own sentence based on your understanding. Brainstorm the info that you get. By this, you will activate your brain. Reading (in my opinion) is a passive action. Without brainstorming the info, you will let your brain in a passive phase longer. And after that you started to tepuk-tepuk bantal. lol!

Ahh thats all. Kih kih kih. Its easy. Keep your brain active by keep thinking. Then, you wont fall into sleep. It is the same situation while you are having your hard time with all the never ends problem. It will be hard to sleep because you keep thinking about the problem. Your brain is in active phase at this moment. You can implement this situation for your LR work. Simple. Haha

At first, there were lots of ideas to write in here, but suddenly everything was like evaporates away from my mind. Hahaha

So another tip here, when you want to start writing, make a sketch first. This is a safe way to write that you don't get lost in your own world.kui3.

Blog post title is kinda misleading. But did anyone cares?






06 September 2016

My online business??
Assalamualaikum.

Sejak ekonomi aku meleset ni, kais pagi makan pagi aku. Master tak abeh-abes lagi. Terpaksolah den mengerah sedikit kudrat untuk buat bisnes online.Hihi

Dan aku dah create akaun instagram baru untuk meniaga. Life so tough this day man! I need to be financially independent. Sementara nak ngabih thesis ni, bisnes la sikit-sikit. Sebab aku dah pernah bergaji sebelum ni, so bila tiba-tiba takde gaji ni memang macam takkan la aku nak mintak duit ngan mak bapak lagi. I won't.  So I set up this small business. Here is the link haxeera 


Aku tak jual banyak barang sangat. Aku suka benda cute. Aku jual macam-macam la yang aku rasa nak jual. Aku jual beg, baju, susu kambing wildan. Tapi setakat ni takde la jual collagen ke skincare ke, vitamin ke sebab untuk barang macam ni aku macam nak kena study banyak pulak. Orang mungkin akan tanya macam2, dan aku memang tak sempat la nk study segala mak nenek. 

Bila buat bisnes ni, aku letak diri aku as customer. Maksudnya, dari segi harga, material, kualiti dan masa (pre-order). Aku akan fikir, kalau akula sebagai pembeli dengan harga macam ni aku akan beli ke. Kalau barang yang aku dapat tu material dia macam tu aku suka ke. and so on la.

First product yang aku try and error jual is Descendants of the sun bag (DOTS bag). Sapa suka layan cerita Korea tau la kot drama ni. Aku pon layan jugak. Heee. Tak sangka ramai yang order. Memula dapat first order dr customer via IG, peh perasaan tu macam seronoknyee. Padahal baru dapat jual 1 beg. Pastu makin ramai pulak yang order. Waa..alhamdulillah. Tak sangka sangat. Aku ni kadang negative sikit la bila nk buat bisnes ni. Kau tengok la berapa ramai yang buat bisnes same. Follower dekat 100K. Aku ni nak jejak 200 pon payah. ahaha. But then, kita kadang lupa, rezeki tu Allah yang bagi. Bukan follower. Allah yang gerakkan hati orang tu untuk beli ngan kita. BTW thanks dear customer for the experience of being a bisnesswoman. hahhahahaha. terus label diri bisneswoman. 

As I mention earlier (aku guna ayat ni dlm thesis.mihmihmih), I am unemployed. Jadi buat masa sekarang, apa yang aku jual tu mostly PREORDER unless stated as ready stock. But alhamdulillah, postage agak cepat jugak. Less than a week dah sampai kat aku, then aku post kat customer. Roughly, less than 10 days. Earlier than expected la. barang mostly bukan dari Malaysia.


DOTS bag.
Material: Canvas
Color: Blue, Beige, Black, Grey
Price: RM45
PROMO PRICE : RM35 (exclude postage)

Lepas raya ni akan ada promosi untuk Park Shin Hye bag (Doctors) dari K-drama jugak. Will be 20% discount. Normal price RM49.



Doctors (K-drama) Bag.
Material: PU + Canvas
Color: Blue,  Black
Price: RM49
20% Discount: RM39 (exclude postage)

Macam mana nak order? Visit my IG. Hehe. Boleh DM IG, boleh whatsapp: 0139721994.

nak tengok lain-lain product pon, silalah visit my IG. hihi

Nanti dah banyak modal sikit boleh laa jual ready stock. Beli hari ni esok sampai. weheee seronoknya. Doakan aku.

Tu jela kot nak cite. Tadi nak tulis pendek je, panjang gak jadinya. Thanks for reading. kalau ada yang nak collaborate bisnes juta-juta pon boleh bagitau aku. haha. Aku suka!

Semoga Allah redha!

Wassalam.