What doesn't kill you - Dear Haxeera,

28 August 2016

What doesn't kill you

Aku saja nak post ni. Aku ada akaun tumblr. Dan kat tumblr aku jumpa terlalu ramai yang patah hati. Dan tergerak nak cerita jugak apa aku rasa. And this is copiedd from my tumblr. So ayat memang pendek2 je. Please dont follow my tumblr. Haha. I wont leave the link here. Kih kih. 
So here goes the luahan perasaan..
Dua kali beb. Aku kena buang. Macam aku ni takde harga diri. Masa nak kau cari, masa tak nak senang-senang je kau cakap dah takde perasaan. Ohmaigod, jelik pulak aku rasa kalau ingat masa tu. Huhu
Untuk benda-benda macam ni, bila dah kena, rasa helpless, rasa tak leh buat apa-apa. Nak merayu? Untuk apa? Orang dah tak nak. Cakap la apa pon, takkan ada jalan penyelesaian kalau dah salah sorang tak nak. Kot2 mana pon, yg sorang lagi akan sakit. So i decide to let go. I have no regret with this type of guy.
Aku tak suka nak cakap ni. Tapi nak cakap jugak. Lelaki macam ni, sampah. Tak penting. Dont waste your time living with people like this. Masa sikit yang kita ada, kita nak isi memori indah je.
Takdela aku cakap tak boleh nak gaduh lansung.As long as masih ada rasa sayang, masih boleh bertolak ansur, masih boleh bincang. Then do it. Selesaikan masalah dengan cara matang lah. Then, u can still create memory with your love one 😍.
Tapi masalahnya, umur dah dekat 30 pon bodoh lagi nak buat macam mana. Jgn kata 30, 40 ke 50 ke berape ke, kalau hidup bertuhankan ego, sama je kesudahannya. Let them go with peace in mind. He dont deserve you. Cara aku tulis macam senang je kan? Hey, I never said that i was easy. Pedih giler ok. The pain can't be described by words. I never can express properly how did I feel regarding this matter.
After a year, the pain is still there. It still hurt the same. But I grow stronger than before. I have a different thought regarding this matter. I handle things wayy better than before. I grew more as a person. I understand the people around me better than before. I don't easily judge people easily as i did before.
Because the feeling of being judged is urghh. Benci ok. And now i feel really bad to be such a judgemental person. So, now in most situation, macam mana teruk pon, I will at least try to understand the person's condition over what they have done before I come with a conclusion.
Kebanyakannya, sebab aku dah rasa sakitnya macam mana. In my case, there is only one core subject. But I did learned a lot from this one subject. Banyak subtopic you know! haha
After all the struggles, I feel like I have become a better ME. Slowly, i started to realise that Allah’s plan is always better. Allah maha mengetahui apa yang terbaik untuk hambaNya. Practically, apa yang dah berlaku ni adalah untuk menjadikan aku manusia yang lebih baik. Bila2 pon kena ingat Allah sentiasa sayang kita. Sangka baik dengan Allah selalu.
Alhamdulillah atas segala nikmat dan ujian. Semoga sentiasa dalam redha Allah.

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